It seemed like a normal Sunday evening. Elsie and I were playing in the living room, winding down for the day with bedtime to come soon. At some point, Elsie’s diaper had a malfunction on one side leaving it susceptible to her tiny hands, and she took the liberty to remove it and enjoy her natural state. I noticed this, but I was literally about to head to run her a bath, so it seemed wasteful to put a new diaper on her that would only be worn for 5 minutes at best. Besides, I thought, she only poops in the morning, so that’s not really an issue.
It’s as if I wanted to tempt fate or something.
I was standing in the kitchen when I saw it happen. My delicate girl did a half squat and plopped out 3 turds onto my hardwood floors.
I’m sorry to report she then stepped in it.
So, at that point it was most certainly bath time. I cautiously picked her up and carried her over to the sink to wipe of the worst of the mess and prevent it from spreading to other parts of my house. Moderately clean, I sat her down and headed to the bathroom to get the now necessary bath ready. That’s when I heard a tiny splash.
Just as you are imagining it, my darling, bow wearing, angel baby girl was tinkling on the floor. Apparently with lack of clothing she feels completely free to air all her dirty laundry and maybe also her excrement. She looked down at the splashing liquid and gave me a gleeful grin. And then with a laugh, SHE STOMPED HER TINY FEET IN THE TINY PEE PUDDLE, and I kid you not – slipped and fell right there in the mess.
So pride really does goeth before a fall, it would seem.
Once she was cleaned and tucked into bed for the night, I was struck with a sudden desire to clean everything in my house. Nothing felt clean. The image of poop directly on my floor never left my mind as I tidied, wiped, and sanitized every living surface in our home. Even the furniture wasn’t safe – I moved everything onto the living room rug so I could clean those hard to reach parts of the floor. In some ways it was still a win, because my whole house is rarely clean all at once these days since you can only get so much done during naptime. Still though, someone had pooped and peed on my floor that day – can it really be a win?
willing hands 
Love this story.